I love my husband, but he doesn't turn me on anymore

Please bear with me; this is so difficult for me to put into words. I've been with my husband about 10 years. We met very young, though I have had other seexual relationships before him. This is not a problem of HL/LL, though for a time, I did think something was wrong with me. I've discovered that in fact I have a very HL, just not for my husband.

The problem is, while he is happy with my performance in the bedroom, he doesn't turn me on. He has no seexual imagination. He doesn't know how to touch me. He's not a good kisser. The way he moves, the way he talks, they don't do anything for me. Even the sounds he makes during seex are not seexy to me. Maybe I'm responsible for not being able to explain to him what I want... but more on that later.

The thing that really killed it was hygiene issues on his part... I love giving head, but every time I went down there I was grossed out by the smell of stale urine. And whenever we did have seex, I'd end up with bacterial infections that took ages to clear up. I told him he needed to clean better, which he took poorly, so I became hesitant to say more. I know now that I should have.

By the time he got the issue under control, any seexual desire I had for him was gone and dead.

You might be wondering why I ever married him in the first place. I think the truth is, when we first started dating, infatuation and novelty overrode our seexual incompatibility. Then we stayed together through a few years of extreme long distance, so the seex was infrequent.

 When we finally moved in together, we had some very stressful years... unemployment, then employment in very high-stress jobs. I chalked up my lack of interest in seex to being stressed out and unhappy with our situation.

During this time though, we were still very affectionate and loving to each other. It wasn't until things settled down that I began to realize our incompatibility had no external cause, and it was something that I needed to come to terms with.

I remember how seex was with a previous partner. He knew exactly what to do and how to turn me on. Everything he said and did was indescribably seexy to me, and vice versa. Of course we still communicated to each other what worked and what didn't, but he would get it right away when I explained something to him.

Our seexual chemistry was perfect, and I don't believe there is any way to force that or teach it to a partner who doesn't have it instinctively... is there?

 With that partner, we were incompatible for other reasons. With my husband, we are great together in almost every other way but the seex.

He deserves someone who thinks he's the hottest ever. And I've realized that great seex is something I need in a relationship. Are we wrong for thinking about calling it quits? Is there more we could do to salvage our marriage?

 I'm just heartbroken that we built so many hopes and dreams together, and fixing things in the bedroom seems so hopeless.