They’re not mad, but respectable twenty-somethings who say spooks are better lovers than real men

Nonhlanhla is a little breathless as she describes her first night of passion with her lover. ‘He knew instinctively what I wanted and I didn’t have to say or do anything,’ says the 25-year-old from North London.

‘He was very handsome, with beautiful hazel eyes and, as we made love, he stroked my body tenderly and I could feel the weight of him pressing down on me.

‘His body felt incredibly light. The whole encounter lasted an hour and afterwards he whispered: “That was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.”

‘As we drifted off to sleep in one another’s arms, a voice in my head kept asking: “Is this really happening?” ’

Sian had reason to question her experience. Because, incredibly, she claims that Robert was a ‘ghost’ — an amorous apparition of an artist who had died more than 100 years ago.

‘Some people look at me as if I’ve gone mad. My family don’t know anything about it, but then what woman feels comfortable discussing her love life with her parents anyway?’

Her story sounds implausible, but over many centuries there are legends of spirits having seex with humans in Christian, Greek, Jewish and Celtic folklore dating back to 2400 BC.

In modern cinema, Demi Moore got intimate with her dead partner played by Patrick Swayze, and in Ghostbusters, Dan Aykroyd’s character was pleasured by a spectre.

Aykroyd — and celebrities including Charlie’s Angel actress Lucy Liu and the late Anna Nicole Smith — have described what they claim are real-life seexual encounters with apparitions. The phenomenon is called spectrophilia — seexual attraction to ghosts.

Modern science is quick to explain away all reports of it as simply very vivid dreams. Yet those who say they’ve had spooky amorous encounters swear they are not making it up.

Indeed, in some cases, women claim they enjoy seex with spirits so much, they’ve given up on real men.

Sian, a writer, artist and spiritualist, says her paranormal paramour began visiting her not long after she moved into a cottage in a remote part of Wales. She had split up from her boyfriend and was lonely, but insists the experience was not imaginary or stress-induced.

‘Scientists may explain it away, but I’d just say they didn’t experience what I experienced,’ she says.

‘A couple of days after our first encounter, Robert arrived and said it would be our last night together. I never asked why. I sobbed when I woke and Robert was no longer in my bed. I guess I had been falling in love. Though I had one other ghost lover after that, I haven’t had seex with a ghost for over two years.

‘I’m in a relationship with a living man who thinks my past experience was just a dream and finds it funny. But I recall my little fling with Robert fondly.’

While it may stretch the boundaries of belief, Sian is not alone. Amethyst Realm, a 27-year-old ‘spiritual guidance consultant’ from Bristol, says an ‘out of this world’ relationship not only ended her engagement to her childhood sweetheart, but put her off living men forever.

‘My first time with a ghost was around ten years ago,’ she says. ‘I was living with a boyfriend in Hereford and he travelled a lot for his job. I was lonely and noticed that items kept disappearing and then reappearing in our guest room.

‘I thought I must be going mad, but then I became aware of a presence. I could feel it all around me and it was very comforting.

‘About six months later, my boyfriend was away and I saw a heart drawn on the condensation in the window of the guest room.

‘As I peered closer, I felt someone come up behind me, put their hands on my hips and breathe softly on my neck. It wasn’t warm or cold, just a soft breath, but it felt lovely.

‘It lasted two or three seconds, then faded. I couldn’t see or hear anything, but I knew someone was there. I wasn’t scared at all.’

After a few weeks, Amethyst decided to explore further. ‘I went to bed early in the guest room, wore a seexy negligee and lay there in the darkness. I felt a little mad and nervous.

‘After an hour, nothing happened and I thought: “I’ve scared him off, I’ve been too keen.” ’

But as she was falling asleep something happened. ‘I felt a pressure all over my body as if a person was lying on top of me, but lighter and softer than a human. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced.

‘I know how bizarre it sounds, but it felt real. It was different to having seex with a man and afterwards I slept better than I had done in years. When I woke up, I knew it hadn’t been a dream. I didn’t feel at all guilty about cheating because the whole thing felt so natural.’

Amethyst claims she began an affair with her ghost.

‘We’d have seex two or three times a day. We never spoke and